You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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