no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
