in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
