Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
