i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
