Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
