im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
