that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
