Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
