getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
