omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
