It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
