i jhust puked up my retainher.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
