You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
