Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
