I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need water and some morals
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