4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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