Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures

Fav 6 3272 1771
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(513): View more from Ohio

The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

Fav 10 4961 1324
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(330): View more from Ohio

Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?

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(330): View more from Ohio

You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.

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(917): View more from New York City

Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that

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(+61): View more from Australia

THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.

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