we're blogging at a bar
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
