I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
