She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
