Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
