Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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