I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
