Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
