'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
