Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
