Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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