Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think your dad took our porno
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
