I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
