I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
