i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize