I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
