You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
