i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
