we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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