Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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