Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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