If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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