Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
