Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
