We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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