remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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