I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
