Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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