so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
