Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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