we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
