but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
