dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
