the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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