So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
how does that bad decision feel?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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