I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize