no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
