You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
