he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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