Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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