how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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