eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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