You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
