dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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