6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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