i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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