He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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