i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
