we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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