i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
