and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
