every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
do herpes really smell.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
