Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
a search helicopter?!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
