afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
